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You will have heard the term “separation anxiety” usually used in conjunction with animals and children, but you may not be aware that adults too can suffer with this condition and at times it can become debilitating.
Certainly adult separation anxiety can devastate relationships, so it is important to take a sympathetic, pragmatic and rational approach.
In children and pets, separation anxiety manifests itself when the sufferer is separated from the primary care giver. In adults, the caregiver is a figure of attachment.
Therefore, adults who suffer with separation anxiety tend to fixate on their spouse or significant other, although it can be their children, their siblings or friends. Estimates in the USA suggest that 6.6% of adults will experience adult separation anxiety at some point in their life, so it is more common than you might imagine. It is more prevalent among women, but does affect men too.
It is less likely to be found among married or cohabiting couples, but can be. It is most likely to be found among those who are separated, widowed or divorced.
Some of the symptoms that can be found among adults with separation anxiety include:
People with a tendency to adult separation anxiety may well find they suffer in other areas too. IT may be that your partner has a generalised anxiety disorder, and recognising those symptoms and dealing with those can be highly beneficial.
If you are going to be away, plan with your partner, what they will be doing. This might mean ensuring they are having social contact elsewhere, or it could involve leaving them a book or hobby activities that they can be getting on with. Encourage them to use their time to do things that they might not get to do when you are there, necessarily.
What sort of things can your partner do when you’re not there? Consider spa days, or pamper treatments, or to invite their friends around. Encourage them to do things that help to lessen their anxiety so that they feel calm.
Be very clear that while you’re away you will only be able to text or call at certain times. Tell your partner, “I’ll be in meetings all day” if this is the case. Manage their expectations about how busy you will be and how you must be professional if you’re away for business.
Your partner wants to know that they are loved and special in your life. They may well drive you mad by asking for this sort of assurance, but the more patient you can be, the easier all round.
Before you go away, hide some little love notes or post-its around the house where your partner will find them. While you’re away, send thoughtful short texts or messages. Send a final message before you go to sleep.
Ask them to keep a journal of what they have been up to and what thoughts they had and then share that with them when you get back. Make your partner understand that their day to day life is important to you.
Focus on what you will do when you get back from your trip. Plan some treats – movie night in, or date night out!
If your partner has a severe case of separation anxiety, you could consider getting in touch with a local support group if you can find one. Your partner may also be able to access an online forum too, and this might help them while you’re away.
If you need further support, there is no harm seeking advice from a professional.
Created by Tom Vermeersch (bio)
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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You will have heard the term “separation anxiety” usually used in conjunction with animals and children, but you may not be aware that adults too can suffer with this condition and at times it can become debilitating.
Certainly adult separation anxiety can devastate relationships, so it is important to take a sympathetic, pragmatic and rational approach.
In children and pets, separation anxiety manifests itself when the sufferer is separated from the primary care giver. In adults, the caregiver is a figure of attachment.
Therefore, adults who suffer with separation anxiety tend to fixate on their spouse or significant other, although it can be their children, their siblings or friends. Estimates in the USA suggest that 6.6% of adults will experience adult separation anxiety at some point in their life, so it is more common than you might imagine. It is more prevalent among women, but does affect men too.
It is less likely to be found among married or cohabiting couples, but can be. It is most likely to be found among those who are separated, widowed or divorced.
Some of the symptoms that can be found among adults with separation anxiety include:
People with a tendency to adult separation anxiety may well find they suffer in other areas too. IT may be that your partner has a generalised anxiety disorder, and recognising those symptoms and dealing with those can be highly beneficial.
If you are going to be away, plan with your partner, what they will be doing. This might mean ensuring they are having social contact elsewhere, or it could involve leaving them a book or hobby activities that they can be getting on with. Encourage them to use their time to do things that they might not get to do when you are there, necessarily.
What sort of things can your partner do when you’re not there? Consider spa days, or pamper treatments, or to invite their friends around. Encourage them to do things that help to lessen their anxiety so that they feel calm.
Be very clear that while you’re away you will only be able to text or call at certain times. Tell your partner, “I’ll be in meetings all day” if this is the case. Manage their expectations about how busy you will be and how you must be professional if you’re away for business.
Your partner wants to know that they are loved and special in your life. They may well drive you mad by asking for this sort of assurance, but the more patient you can be, the easier all round.
Before you go away, hide some little love notes or post-its around the house where your partner will find them. While you’re away, send thoughtful short texts or messages. Send a final message before you go to sleep.
Ask them to keep a journal of what they have been up to and what thoughts they had and then share that with them when you get back. Make your partner understand that their day to day life is important to you.
Focus on what you will do when you get back from your trip. Plan some treats – movie night in, or date night out!
If your partner has a severe case of separation anxiety, you could consider getting in touch with a local support group if you can find one. Your partner may also be able to access an online forum too, and this might help them while you’re away.
If you need further support, there is no harm seeking advice from a professional.
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Read the complete article
While you often hear people joking that they have OCD because they like to keep their house clean and tidy, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be a distressing and debilitating mental health condition with a wide range of symptoms.
Learn how to recognise the signs of stress and avoid slipping into a burnout or a bore-out
Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?
People spend so much of their time regretting the past and worrying about the future. But it’s not worth it! Even what happened yesterday doesn't matter anymore! Let go of the past and the future and make the most of every moment.
Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.
Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".
Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?
It's natural to compare our own lives with those of others - weighing up the pros and cons of situations helps us make decisions. But there can be a downside when you find you're constantly comparing yourself with others, envying their seemingly perfect lives and wondering why they are luckier, more prosperous, and better looking than you.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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