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Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals. 

Most of us gradually understand that whatever our ambitions, we’re unlikely ever to the best and that not all our goals are achievable. While you might accept that you might never be the best at something, the secret to a happy life is to strive to fulfil your potential and be the best you can be. 

To achieve a significant ambition, you have to cope with many challenges along the way. It’s how you respond to obstacles in your path that determines whether or not you can achieve your aims.

As you come across each challenge, you can either give up or press onwards. Some might despair and give up when they encounter a roadblock while others see it as just another obstacle that can be overcome. This might mean taking a different path and adapting your plans as circumstances change.


What are the barriers stopping you from being the best?

So you’ve set out your goals and decided that this year you will make real progress towards achieving them. But there’s a risk that blocks and obstacles will prevent you from realising your dreams. 

Recognising and anticipating that barriers that stop you from being the best will help you to overcome them. While unforeseen circumstances might cause you to change or postpone your plans, the main reason for not being the best is you. You may well be inadvertently sabotaging your success because of a fear of failure, negative thinking or a lack of planning.

Here are some strategies to help you be the best and fulfil your true potential.  

1. Identify the things that are holding you back

As you think about your ambitions, what fears and negative ideas come to mind? It might sound counterproductive, but write down a list of all the barriers that you see as standing between you and your dreams.

Now, take each item in turn and think about ways in which you can overcome this obstacle. You’ve now made a plan and by taking each challenge in turn, you can achieve your aims.

2. Network

Learn from others. Whether in the real world or on social media, take advantage of networking with people who have succeeded in their aims.

Ask them about their mistakes, what challenges they came across and how they overcame them.  

3. Baby steps

While keeping an eye on your ultimate goal, don't just look at the bigger picture. This could lead to discouragement as it seems so far away. Keep working through your list of challenges and concentrate on solving each one in turn.

Taking continuous small steps will prevent you from being overwhelmed by the scale of the task.

4. Keep motivated

Come up with a list of reasons why you have chosen the goals that you are aiming for. Think about the benefits that achieving your ambitions will bring. How will you feel? What will your quality of life be like? How will the lives of your family change? 

When you feel in need of motivation, reading the list will remind you of exactly why you’re striving to achieve your goals.

5. Be prepared to change your plans

External circumstances may influence your course of action. Bear in mind that being the best isn’t just about material wealth. You need to look at your life holistically.

For example, you might be offered the promotion you’ve been striving for but it means moving to another part of the country… and your child has just settled at the local school. In these circumstances, you might well decide to revise your goals towards being a better parent and spending more time with the family rather than having a high-flying career. 

6. Celebrate each win

Every challenge that you overcome brings you a step nearer to your goals. Rather than waiting until you have achieved your dream, reward yourself with a small celebration with each minor victory. Small treats like these will keep you on track and motivate you to fulfil your ambitions.

Add a mini-treat to each obstacle you listed the plan you came up with in #1 above and celebrate as you tick off each one in turn.

7. Think positively

When you face challenges, don't dwell on the negative aspects but find solutions that carry you forwards. Take pride in your skills and achievements in overcoming problems. ‘Most importantly, keep an open mind, be prepared to adapt your plans to meet changing circumstances, and never stop learning. 

Be determined and don't give up on your goals: while you might never be the very best, savour each achievement along the journey and enjoy living your best life.

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best
Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals. 

Most of us gradually understand that whatever our ambitions, we’re unlikely ever to the best and that not all our goals are achievable. While you might accept that you might never be the best at something, the secret to a happy life is to strive to fulfil your potential and be the best you can be. 

To achieve a significant ambition, you have to cope with many challenges along the way. It’s how you respond to obstacles in your path that determines whether or not you can achieve your aims.

As you come across each challenge, you can either give up or press onwards. Some might despair and give up when they encounter a roadblock while others see it as just another obstacle that can be overcome. This might mean taking a different path and adapting your plans as circumstances change.

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  • Based on your symptoms and character
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What are the barriers stopping you from being the best?

So you’ve set out your goals and decided that this year you will make real progress towards achieving them. But there’s a risk that blocks and obstacles will prevent you from realising your dreams. 

Recognising and anticipating that barriers that stop you from being the best will help you to overcome them. While unforeseen circumstances might cause you to change or postpone your plans, the main reason for not being the best is you. You may well be inadvertently sabotaging your success because of a fear of failure, negative thinking or a lack of planning.

Here are some strategies to help you be the best and fulfil your true potential.  

1. Identify the things that are holding you back

As you think about your ambitions, what fears and negative ideas come to mind? It might sound counterproductive, but write down a list of all the barriers that you see as standing between you and your dreams.

Now, take each item in turn and think about ways in which you can overcome this obstacle. You’ve now made a plan and by taking each challenge in turn, you can achieve your aims.

2. Network

Learn from others. Whether in the real world or on social media, take advantage of networking with people who have succeeded in their aims.

Ask them about their mistakes, what challenges they came across and how they overcame them.  

3. Baby steps

While keeping an eye on your ultimate goal, don't just look at the bigger picture. This could lead to discouragement as it seems so far away. Keep working through your list of challenges and concentrate on solving each one in turn.

Taking continuous small steps will prevent you from being overwhelmed by the scale of the task.

4. Keep motivated

Come up with a list of reasons why you have chosen the goals that you are aiming for. Think about the benefits that achieving your ambitions will bring. How will you feel? What will your quality of life be like? How will the lives of your family change? 

When you feel in need of motivation, reading the list will remind you of exactly why you’re striving to achieve your goals.

5. Be prepared to change your plans

External circumstances may influence your course of action. Bear in mind that being the best isn’t just about material wealth. You need to look at your life holistically.

For example, you might be offered the promotion you’ve been striving for but it means moving to another part of the country… and your child has just settled at the local school. In these circumstances, you might well decide to revise your goals towards being a better parent and spending more time with the family rather than having a high-flying career. 

6. Celebrate each win

Every challenge that you overcome brings you a step nearer to your goals. Rather than waiting until you have achieved your dream, reward yourself with a small celebration with each minor victory. Small treats like these will keep you on track and motivate you to fulfil your ambitions.

Add a mini-treat to each obstacle you listed the plan you came up with in #1 above and celebrate as you tick off each one in turn.

7. Think positively

When you face challenges, don't dwell on the negative aspects but find solutions that carry you forwards. Take pride in your skills and achievements in overcoming problems. ‘Most importantly, keep an open mind, be prepared to adapt your plans to meet changing circumstances, and never stop learning. 

Be determined and don't give up on your goals: while you might never be the very best, savour each achievement along the journey and enjoy living your best life.


Marie Pure

Other articles


Are you resilient enough Take our quiz!

Are you resilient enough? Take our quiz!

Do you have enough resilience to face the world out there? Take our quiz to find out how resilient you are and find tips on how to build your mental resilience.

Read the complete article

Even the brightest minds have setbacks!

Even the brightest minds have setbacks!

We all want to be successful but many of us find the path to achieving our dreams is blocked by our fear of failure. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, go backpacking around the world or start up a new business, you need to accept that you might fail many times over before you achieve success.

Read the complete article

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.

Read the complete article

Why it's never too late to change

Why it's never too late to change

People always think: that’s just me. I'm not good at 'X', that is just my character. Here are some reasons why it's never too late to change.

Read the complete article

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.

Read the complete article

How to beat irrational anxieties

How to beat irrational anxieties

Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.

Read the complete article

10 Tips to get the best out of every day

10 Tips to get the best out of every day

When we’re stuck in a bit of a rut, the days and nights slip past so quickly that we barely notice them. But life is not a rehearsal!

Read the complete article

Stop worrying and live in the moment

Stop worrying and live in the moment

People spend so much of their time regretting the past and worrying about the future. But it’s not worth it! Even what happened yesterday doesn't matter anymore! Let go of the past and the future and make the most of every moment.

Read the complete article

Is it OCD Find out!

Is it OCD? Find out!

While you often hear people joking that they have OCD because they like to keep their house clean and tidy, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be a distressing and debilitating mental health condition with a wide range of symptoms.

Read the complete article

Why a life without stress and obstacles is unrewarding

Why a life without stress and obstacles is unrewarding

Stress can be both good and bad; it’s up to you how you look at it. But too much stress can be dangerous. Read more about stress in this article!

Read the complete article

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