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Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals. 

Most of us gradually understand that whatever our ambitions, we’re unlikely ever to the best and that not all our goals are achievable. While you might accept that you might never be the best at something, the secret to a happy life is to strive to fulfil your potential and be the best you can be. 

To achieve a significant ambition, you have to cope with many challenges along the way. It’s how you respond to obstacles in your path that determines whether or not you can achieve your aims.

As you come across each challenge, you can either give up or press onwards. Some might despair and give up when they encounter a roadblock while others see it as just another obstacle that can be overcome. This might mean taking a different path and adapting your plans as circumstances change.


What are the barriers stopping you from being the best?

So you’ve set out your goals and decided that this year you will make real progress towards achieving them. But there’s a risk that blocks and obstacles will prevent you from realising your dreams. 

Recognising and anticipating that barriers that stop you from being the best will help you to overcome them. While unforeseen circumstances might cause you to change or postpone your plans, the main reason for not being the best is you. You may well be inadvertently sabotaging your success because of a fear of failure, negative thinking or a lack of planning.

Here are some strategies to help you be the best and fulfil your true potential.  

1. Identify the things that are holding you back

As you think about your ambitions, what fears and negative ideas come to mind? It might sound counterproductive, but write down a list of all the barriers that you see as standing between you and your dreams.

Now, take each item in turn and think about ways in which you can overcome this obstacle. You’ve now made a plan and by taking each challenge in turn, you can achieve your aims.

2. Network

Learn from others. Whether in the real world or on social media, take advantage of networking with people who have succeeded in their aims.

Ask them about their mistakes, what challenges they came across and how they overcame them.  

3. Baby steps

While keeping an eye on your ultimate goal, don't just look at the bigger picture. This could lead to discouragement as it seems so far away. Keep working through your list of challenges and concentrate on solving each one in turn.

Taking continuous small steps will prevent you from being overwhelmed by the scale of the task.

4. Keep motivated

Come up with a list of reasons why you have chosen the goals that you are aiming for. Think about the benefits that achieving your ambitions will bring. How will you feel? What will your quality of life be like? How will the lives of your family change? 

When you feel in need of motivation, reading the list will remind you of exactly why you’re striving to achieve your goals.

5. Be prepared to change your plans

External circumstances may influence your course of action. Bear in mind that being the best isn’t just about material wealth. You need to look at your life holistically.

For example, you might be offered the promotion you’ve been striving for but it means moving to another part of the country… and your child has just settled at the local school. In these circumstances, you might well decide to revise your goals towards being a better parent and spending more time with the family rather than having a high-flying career. 

6. Celebrate each win

Every challenge that you overcome brings you a step nearer to your goals. Rather than waiting until you have achieved your dream, reward yourself with a small celebration with each minor victory. Small treats like these will keep you on track and motivate you to fulfil your ambitions.

Add a mini-treat to each obstacle you listed the plan you came up with in #1 above and celebrate as you tick off each one in turn.

7. Think positively

When you face challenges, don't dwell on the negative aspects but find solutions that carry you forwards. Take pride in your skills and achievements in overcoming problems. ‘Most importantly, keep an open mind, be prepared to adapt your plans to meet changing circumstances, and never stop learning. 

Be determined and don't give up on your goals: while you might never be the very best, savour each achievement along the journey and enjoy living your best life.

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best
Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals. 

Most of us gradually understand that whatever our ambitions, we’re unlikely ever to the best and that not all our goals are achievable. While you might accept that you might never be the best at something, the secret to a happy life is to strive to fulfil your potential and be the best you can be. 

To achieve a significant ambition, you have to cope with many challenges along the way. It’s how you respond to obstacles in your path that determines whether or not you can achieve your aims.

As you come across each challenge, you can either give up or press onwards. Some might despair and give up when they encounter a roadblock while others see it as just another obstacle that can be overcome. This might mean taking a different path and adapting your plans as circumstances change.

Bach flowers personal mix

Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
  • Fast and good results
Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

What are the barriers stopping you from being the best?

So you’ve set out your goals and decided that this year you will make real progress towards achieving them. But there’s a risk that blocks and obstacles will prevent you from realising your dreams. 

Recognising and anticipating that barriers that stop you from being the best will help you to overcome them. While unforeseen circumstances might cause you to change or postpone your plans, the main reason for not being the best is you. You may well be inadvertently sabotaging your success because of a fear of failure, negative thinking or a lack of planning.

Here are some strategies to help you be the best and fulfil your true potential.  

1. Identify the things that are holding you back

As you think about your ambitions, what fears and negative ideas come to mind? It might sound counterproductive, but write down a list of all the barriers that you see as standing between you and your dreams.

Now, take each item in turn and think about ways in which you can overcome this obstacle. You’ve now made a plan and by taking each challenge in turn, you can achieve your aims.

2. Network

Learn from others. Whether in the real world or on social media, take advantage of networking with people who have succeeded in their aims.

Ask them about their mistakes, what challenges they came across and how they overcame them.  

3. Baby steps

While keeping an eye on your ultimate goal, don't just look at the bigger picture. This could lead to discouragement as it seems so far away. Keep working through your list of challenges and concentrate on solving each one in turn.

Taking continuous small steps will prevent you from being overwhelmed by the scale of the task.

4. Keep motivated

Come up with a list of reasons why you have chosen the goals that you are aiming for. Think about the benefits that achieving your ambitions will bring. How will you feel? What will your quality of life be like? How will the lives of your family change? 

When you feel in need of motivation, reading the list will remind you of exactly why you’re striving to achieve your goals.

5. Be prepared to change your plans

External circumstances may influence your course of action. Bear in mind that being the best isn’t just about material wealth. You need to look at your life holistically.

For example, you might be offered the promotion you’ve been striving for but it means moving to another part of the country… and your child has just settled at the local school. In these circumstances, you might well decide to revise your goals towards being a better parent and spending more time with the family rather than having a high-flying career. 

6. Celebrate each win

Every challenge that you overcome brings you a step nearer to your goals. Rather than waiting until you have achieved your dream, reward yourself with a small celebration with each minor victory. Small treats like these will keep you on track and motivate you to fulfil your ambitions.

Add a mini-treat to each obstacle you listed the plan you came up with in #1 above and celebrate as you tick off each one in turn.

7. Think positively

When you face challenges, don't dwell on the negative aspects but find solutions that carry you forwards. Take pride in your skills and achievements in overcoming problems. ‘Most importantly, keep an open mind, be prepared to adapt your plans to meet changing circumstances, and never stop learning. 

Be determined and don't give up on your goals: while you might never be the very best, savour each achievement along the journey and enjoy living your best life.


Marie Pure

Other articles


Mistakes as a Parent

Mistakes as a Parent

Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.

Read the complete article

Do you expect too much from others

Do you expect too much from others?

Do you expect more from others than they are prepared to give? Signs that you may be asking too much - and how to break the pattern.

Read the complete article

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives. 

Read the complete article

fear

7 tips to help your dog with a fear of fireworks

As nice as it is for a person to celebrate New Year, it's not so nice for a dog, especially when the loud fireworks go off the whole night. This is really frightening for many dogs. Read our 7 tips on how you can help your dog with his fear of fireworks.

Read the complete article

Can you accept things you can't change Take our quiz!

Can you accept things you can't change? Take our quiz!

Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!

Read the complete article

How to stop everything going wrong

How to stop everything going wrong

Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.

Read the complete article

20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

Headaches can be a real nuisance, especially if you get them frequently. Luckily, there are many natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches without needing to reach for over the counter medication.

Read the complete article

Why not me

Why not me?

It's natural to compare our own lives with those of others - weighing up the pros and cons of situations helps us make decisions. But there can be a downside when you find you're constantly comparing yourself with others, envying their seemingly perfect lives and wondering why they are luckier, more prosperous, and better looking than you.

Read the complete article

Dealing with British Summer Time

Dealing with British Summer Time

Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice. 

Read the complete article

How to break your bad habits

How to break your bad habits

Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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