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Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals. 

Most of us gradually understand that whatever our ambitions, we’re unlikely ever to the best and that not all our goals are achievable. While you might accept that you might never be the best at something, the secret to a happy life is to strive to fulfil your potential and be the best you can be. 

To achieve a significant ambition, you have to cope with many challenges along the way. It’s how you respond to obstacles in your path that determines whether or not you can achieve your aims.

As you come across each challenge, you can either give up or press onwards. Some might despair and give up when they encounter a roadblock while others see it as just another obstacle that can be overcome. This might mean taking a different path and adapting your plans as circumstances change.


What are the barriers stopping you from being the best?

So you’ve set out your goals and decided that this year you will make real progress towards achieving them. But there’s a risk that blocks and obstacles will prevent you from realising your dreams. 

Recognising and anticipating that barriers that stop you from being the best will help you to overcome them. While unforeseen circumstances might cause you to change or postpone your plans, the main reason for not being the best is you. You may well be inadvertently sabotaging your success because of a fear of failure, negative thinking or a lack of planning.

Here are some strategies to help you be the best and fulfil your true potential.  

1. Identify the things that are holding you back

As you think about your ambitions, what fears and negative ideas come to mind? It might sound counterproductive, but write down a list of all the barriers that you see as standing between you and your dreams.

Now, take each item in turn and think about ways in which you can overcome this obstacle. You’ve now made a plan and by taking each challenge in turn, you can achieve your aims.

2. Network

Learn from others. Whether in the real world or on social media, take advantage of networking with people who have succeeded in their aims.

Ask them about their mistakes, what challenges they came across and how they overcame them.  

3. Baby steps

While keeping an eye on your ultimate goal, don't just look at the bigger picture. This could lead to discouragement as it seems so far away. Keep working through your list of challenges and concentrate on solving each one in turn.

Taking continuous small steps will prevent you from being overwhelmed by the scale of the task.

4. Keep motivated

Come up with a list of reasons why you have chosen the goals that you are aiming for. Think about the benefits that achieving your ambitions will bring. How will you feel? What will your quality of life be like? How will the lives of your family change? 

When you feel in need of motivation, reading the list will remind you of exactly why you’re striving to achieve your goals.

5. Be prepared to change your plans

External circumstances may influence your course of action. Bear in mind that being the best isn’t just about material wealth. You need to look at your life holistically.

For example, you might be offered the promotion you’ve been striving for but it means moving to another part of the country… and your child has just settled at the local school. In these circumstances, you might well decide to revise your goals towards being a better parent and spending more time with the family rather than having a high-flying career. 

6. Celebrate each win

Every challenge that you overcome brings you a step nearer to your goals. Rather than waiting until you have achieved your dream, reward yourself with a small celebration with each minor victory. Small treats like these will keep you on track and motivate you to fulfil your ambitions.

Add a mini-treat to each obstacle you listed the plan you came up with in #1 above and celebrate as you tick off each one in turn.

7. Think positively

When you face challenges, don't dwell on the negative aspects but find solutions that carry you forwards. Take pride in your skills and achievements in overcoming problems. ‘Most importantly, keep an open mind, be prepared to adapt your plans to meet changing circumstances, and never stop learning. 

Be determined and don't give up on your goals: while you might never be the very best, savour each achievement along the journey and enjoy living your best life.

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best
Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals. 

Most of us gradually understand that whatever our ambitions, we’re unlikely ever to the best and that not all our goals are achievable. While you might accept that you might never be the best at something, the secret to a happy life is to strive to fulfil your potential and be the best you can be. 

To achieve a significant ambition, you have to cope with many challenges along the way. It’s how you respond to obstacles in your path that determines whether or not you can achieve your aims.

As you come across each challenge, you can either give up or press onwards. Some might despair and give up when they encounter a roadblock while others see it as just another obstacle that can be overcome. This might mean taking a different path and adapting your plans as circumstances change.

Bach flowers personal mix

Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
  • Fast and good results
Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

What are the barriers stopping you from being the best?

So you’ve set out your goals and decided that this year you will make real progress towards achieving them. But there’s a risk that blocks and obstacles will prevent you from realising your dreams. 

Recognising and anticipating that barriers that stop you from being the best will help you to overcome them. While unforeseen circumstances might cause you to change or postpone your plans, the main reason for not being the best is you. You may well be inadvertently sabotaging your success because of a fear of failure, negative thinking or a lack of planning.

Here are some strategies to help you be the best and fulfil your true potential.  

1. Identify the things that are holding you back

As you think about your ambitions, what fears and negative ideas come to mind? It might sound counterproductive, but write down a list of all the barriers that you see as standing between you and your dreams.

Now, take each item in turn and think about ways in which you can overcome this obstacle. You’ve now made a plan and by taking each challenge in turn, you can achieve your aims.

2. Network

Learn from others. Whether in the real world or on social media, take advantage of networking with people who have succeeded in their aims.

Ask them about their mistakes, what challenges they came across and how they overcame them.  

3. Baby steps

While keeping an eye on your ultimate goal, don't just look at the bigger picture. This could lead to discouragement as it seems so far away. Keep working through your list of challenges and concentrate on solving each one in turn.

Taking continuous small steps will prevent you from being overwhelmed by the scale of the task.

4. Keep motivated

Come up with a list of reasons why you have chosen the goals that you are aiming for. Think about the benefits that achieving your ambitions will bring. How will you feel? What will your quality of life be like? How will the lives of your family change? 

When you feel in need of motivation, reading the list will remind you of exactly why you’re striving to achieve your goals.

5. Be prepared to change your plans

External circumstances may influence your course of action. Bear in mind that being the best isn’t just about material wealth. You need to look at your life holistically.

For example, you might be offered the promotion you’ve been striving for but it means moving to another part of the country… and your child has just settled at the local school. In these circumstances, you might well decide to revise your goals towards being a better parent and spending more time with the family rather than having a high-flying career. 

6. Celebrate each win

Every challenge that you overcome brings you a step nearer to your goals. Rather than waiting until you have achieved your dream, reward yourself with a small celebration with each minor victory. Small treats like these will keep you on track and motivate you to fulfil your ambitions.

Add a mini-treat to each obstacle you listed the plan you came up with in #1 above and celebrate as you tick off each one in turn.

7. Think positively

When you face challenges, don't dwell on the negative aspects but find solutions that carry you forwards. Take pride in your skills and achievements in overcoming problems. ‘Most importantly, keep an open mind, be prepared to adapt your plans to meet changing circumstances, and never stop learning. 

Be determined and don't give up on your goals: while you might never be the very best, savour each achievement along the journey and enjoy living your best life.


Marie Pure

Other articles


Fact or fiction Is it truly healthy

Fact or fiction? Is it truly healthy?

There's so much contradictory health advice out there, it gets confusing. One year, butter is said to be bad for you, and margarine is better. The following year, it's the other way around. One article says running causes strain on your joints; another says it's good for you because it increases bone strength.

Read the complete article

Do you 'Musturbate' too much

Do you 'Musturbate' too much?

Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".

Read the complete article

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.

Read the complete article

Feeling blue

Feeling blue?

Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.

Read the complete article

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives. 

Read the complete article

"Bach Flower Advice" becomes "Mariepure"

"Bach Flower Advice" becomes "Mariepure"

After 25 years in the Bach flower world, we asked ourselves, is now the right time for our own new name? Not only have we grown, but so have you, along with the confidence you have in us. That's why we want to connect ourselves to our own name. That name is Mariepure.

Read the complete article

Stop procrastinating right now and do something!

Stop procrastinating right now and do something!

Read some tips to get the challenge you're thinking about out of the way. Now is the time to do something, you can start right now. Read on to know more!

Read the complete article

What makes it so hard to go back to work

What makes it so hard to go back to work?

Millions of people furloughed for months are now being recalled to work. Others, who have been working from home throughout the lockdown, are returning to the office. And some jobs have simply disappeared: many people are facing redundancy and will soon have to cope with job hunting. Going back to work after an unprecedented length of time at home is quite a challenge.

Read the complete article

Are things moving too fast for you

Are things moving too fast for you?

If you're worried that the world is changing too fast, you're not alone: technology is constantly developing, and it can be challenging to keep up with all the changes. As a result, many people - not just the older generations - feel anxious that they might get left behind.

Read the complete article

Are you stuck in a rut

Are you stuck in a rut?

Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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