Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.

A certain amount of self-doubt is usual and can be helpful. Questioning yourself shows that you are assessing your past performance and are trying to learn from mistakes you may have made. But persistent self-doubt, anxiety and fear can have a hugely negative impact on your life, holding you back from success and happiness.

Our reasons for self-doubting and a lack of confidence are rarely rational. Let's take a look at some of the most common reasons to have doubts about yourself together with some techniques to overcome them.

1. You can't let go of bad experiences and mistakes

Remembering past mistakes and bad experiences will affect how we react to new challenges. Whether you were unfairly fired from your job or were in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, bad experiences like these inevitably take a toll on your mental health.

While bad experiences might shake your core beliefs, it's pointless to keep brooding on them. You become stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts and will be unable to move on. Reflect on your experiences and learn from them.

If you got fired, think about what you liked and disliked about that job. It might be time to take a new career path. If you went through a painful break-up, you'll now know what qualities your partner should have and will be able to move on to a more worthwhile relationship.

2. You can't let go of past successes

Even the most successful people can be vulnerable to self-doubt. Once you've had a big success, you might think that it's your highwater mark that you will never be able to match again. You may be suffering from imposter syndrome, a feeling that you only achieved your successes through luck or circumstances and that sooner or later you will be shown up as a fraud.

Bach Flower Mix 44 is very helpful in supporting you when you're suffering from low self-esteem and performance anxiety. Another tip: when you're feeling a lack of self-confidence, try writing down everything you've achieved recently. You will be able to rationalise your fears, overcome negative thoughts and face new challenges with optimism.

3. You're paying too much attention to your inner critic

Out of the tens of thousands of thoughts that pass through our minds every day, only 2% are new. The rest is just a habit. These repetitive thoughts can hold us back, becoming an internal critical voice who constantly carps at us for not being successful or not working hard enough.

Self-critical beliefs often develop in childhood. If your parents placed too high a value on success and criticised failures too harshly, you may have grown up with a core belief that whatever you do, it will never be good enough.

The good news is that you can learn to control negative thought patterns and overcome the self-doubts caused by your inner critic. Try to identify irrational or exaggerated thoughts that recur. Bach Flower Mix 85 is a blend of flower essences created to provide support during times of stress and anxiety and can help you to break the cycle of negative thinking.

Your inner critic sometimes poses questions - for example, should I go for a promotion? Your first answer may well be negative. You decide you don't have the right skill set, or it's just not the right time for you.

Turn these self-doubts into positives. Assess your skills honestly, fill any gaps in your training and prepare for the next opportunity.

4. You keep comparing yourself with others

We live in a competitive world, and it's natural to compare yourself to others. But envying what others have achieved and comparing it with what you perceive as your own lack of success is guaranteed to undermine your self-confidence.

You are not good at everything, and neither is anyone else. Rather than focusing on your weaknesses, concentrate on making the most of your skills and accept yourself for who you are.

5. You don't seek help from others

You are responsible for the choices that have brought you to where you are, and you can take actions that will boost your self-esteem. But this doesn't mean that you are alone. Opening up to friends and family will help to motivate you and to keep things in perspective. Some people find it easier to talk to someone they don't know well, such as a counsellor or life coach.

A last word

It's natural and part of being human to doubt yourself, but getting stuck in a rut of negative thinking is bad for you. By avoiding challenges, you'll miss many opportunities. Take action now, stop doubting yourself and live a happier life.

Other articles

20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

Headaches can be a real nuisance, especially if you get them frequently. Luckily, there are many natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches without needing to reach for over the counter medication.

Did you get stuck in the past?

Do you find yourself often thinking about your past? Do you wish you could turn back the clock to days gone by or things as they were before covid disrupted the world?

Simple tips to not be afraid of the future

No one knows what the future holds, so don't waste time and energy worrying about it. Read our tips and find out how to stop being afraid of what might never happen.

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?

10 Tips to get the best out of every day

When we’re stuck in a bit of a rut, the days and nights slip past so quickly that we barely notice them. But life is not a rehearsal!

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives. 

Why it's never too late to change

People always think: that’s just me. I'm not good at 'X', that is just my character. Here are some reasons why it's never too late to change.

What to do when the spark is fading

Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?

Hiding a depression: find out if someone you know - or you yourself! - is doing this

It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!

Dealing with British Summer Time

Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice.