Negativity can take the pleasure out of life, and oftentimes we are our own worst enemy. If you are prone to a negative internal dialogue – one that influences what you say, do, think, feel or behave – and you are struggling to silence it, we have some tips for you that might just help to improve matters.
Understanding that having a positive mental attitude is a choice is the first stage in inculcating a new, happier you. You get to decide whether you want to be positive or negative about something. Of course, years of ingrained thinking, may well have you automatically reaching for a crabby, miserable response to a situation, but what you have to do is stop yourself, and choose to be positive. This takes a great deal of practice and it is certainly isn’t something you’ll achieve overnight. But to start with, just remember that you get to choose how you react to any situation or thought. You are in control.
You will struggle to feel positive in life if you surround yourself with negativity. The chances are, if you have previously been a negative person – someone who moaned and complained all the time, you will have attracted a very similar ilk of friend and acquaintance. Well, now you need to ditch that negativity from your life.
Negative people have a negative energy that will bring you down. They will tend to be judgemental and argumentative, and will not see the good in a situation. They will not want anyone to be happier than they are, even if they say otherwise. This will be incredibly hurtful to your chances of being positive. So distance yourself from these people and make new friends.
If it isn’t possible to change the people you are with – this could be your family or colleagues – then try and change the subject if you find the negativity is wearing you down. Introduce something positive, or skip away and ignore what is being said.
Believe it or not, your body and your mind are connected intrinsically and you can’t do anything with one that won’t affect the other. You can trick your mind into becoming more optimistic and positive by choosing to practice better body language. Shoulders up, head high, back straight, and smile. Keep your body open and welcoming, and your mind will be too!
Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, there will be some good to come out of it. Rather than be run down by bad experiences, search for what it can teach you, or seek out the positives. You may be stuck in traffic for an age, for example, but if this allows you to hear a radio programme or listen to a favourite piece of music, then you can turn this into a good moment. You may have a bad relationship and you feel your heart has been broken, but if you consider that you had some great times, met new people and learned new things, you’ll see there are positives too.
By keeping a journal and logging the things you are grateful for, you will rapidly move away from negativity and disappointment. The smallest things can be included in your notebook: you may have had a really lovely tomato with your lunch, or a sweet conversation with a neighbour, or you saw a rainbow, or heard some beautiful birdsong. It really doesn’t matter what it is, if it made you feel happy in that moment, list it in your gratitude journal and count your blessings. Practicing gratitude in this way can help to shift your perspective so that you are generally more positive and aware of what is going on around you.
Creating a positive environment is tricky because what seems positive for you, may not be for someone else. What’s a given, is that a cluttered, untidy or dirty space will not make you feel good. Funnily enough, sorting out, throwing out, and cleaning, are wonderful ways to help you feel more positive. De-junk your work and living space and give unwanted items to charity. Treat yourself to some new paint, or buy yourself some flowers. Place post-its or motivational posters somewhere you can see them, or simply have a favourite photo close by that makes you feel good.
Sometimes we become so self-absorbed we forget about everyone else. Focusing on the needs of another person is another great way to become more positive yourself. Think about what you can do for others, or even just one other person. You could consider volunteering for a charity, visiting an elderly or infirm neighbour, or walking someone else’s dog. Failing that, try and do one small kind thing per day for a complete stranger: pick up something they’ve dropped, buy them a coffee, or compliment someone on their hair or perfume.
You’re a human being, and like all human beings you have flaws. However, much more than that, you are incredible and you are an individual. There is no-one quite like you. Celebrate this fact and cherish who you are. Life is a party that you can’t attend twice, so live your life to the best of your ability, and enjoy!
Created by Tom Vermeersch (bio)
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
Let's make 2021 better than 2020
For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?
Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!
When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives.
Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.
Hiding a depression: find out if someone you know - or you yourself! - is doing this
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Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.
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Have you ever noticed that some people are instantly likeable? Many people believe that people will only like you because of natural traits you're born with: good looks, talent and sociability. But this is a misconception. Getting people to like you is within your control, and it's all to do with self-belief, knowing yourself and being emotionally intelligent. Here's what to do to be more likeable.
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If you're worried that the world is changing too fast, you're not alone: technology is constantly developing, and it can be challenging to keep up with all the changes. As a result, many people - not just the older generations - feel anxious that they might get left behind.
Negativity can take the pleasure out of life, and oftentimes we are our own worst enemy. If you are prone to a negative internal dialogue – one that influences what you say, do, think, feel or behave – and you are struggling to silence it, we have some tips for you that might just help to improve matters.
Understanding that having a positive mental attitude is a choice is the first stage in inculcating a new, happier you. You get to decide whether you want to be positive or negative about something. Of course, years of ingrained thinking, may well have you automatically reaching for a crabby, miserable response to a situation, but what you have to do is stop yourself, and choose to be positive. This takes a great deal of practice and it is certainly isn’t something you’ll achieve overnight. But to start with, just remember that you get to choose how you react to any situation or thought. You are in control.
You will struggle to feel positive in life if you surround yourself with negativity. The chances are, if you have previously been a negative person – someone who moaned and complained all the time, you will have attracted a very similar ilk of friend and acquaintance. Well, now you need to ditch that negativity from your life.
Negative people have a negative energy that will bring you down. They will tend to be judgemental and argumentative, and will not see the good in a situation. They will not want anyone to be happier than they are, even if they say otherwise. This will be incredibly hurtful to your chances of being positive. So distance yourself from these people and make new friends.
If it isn’t possible to change the people you are with – this could be your family or colleagues – then try and change the subject if you find the negativity is wearing you down. Introduce something positive, or skip away and ignore what is being said.
Believe it or not, your body and your mind are connected intrinsically and you can’t do anything with one that won’t affect the other. You can trick your mind into becoming more optimistic and positive by choosing to practice better body language. Shoulders up, head high, back straight, and smile. Keep your body open and welcoming, and your mind will be too!
Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, there will be some good to come out of it. Rather than be run down by bad experiences, search for what it can teach you, or seek out the positives. You may be stuck in traffic for an age, for example, but if this allows you to hear a radio programme or listen to a favourite piece of music, then you can turn this into a good moment. You may have a bad relationship and you feel your heart has been broken, but if you consider that you had some great times, met new people and learned new things, you’ll see there are positives too.
By keeping a journal and logging the things you are grateful for, you will rapidly move away from negativity and disappointment. The smallest things can be included in your notebook: you may have had a really lovely tomato with your lunch, or a sweet conversation with a neighbour, or you saw a rainbow, or heard some beautiful birdsong. It really doesn’t matter what it is, if it made you feel happy in that moment, list it in your gratitude journal and count your blessings. Practicing gratitude in this way can help to shift your perspective so that you are generally more positive and aware of what is going on around you.
Creating a positive environment is tricky because what seems positive for you, may not be for someone else. What’s a given, is that a cluttered, untidy or dirty space will not make you feel good. Funnily enough, sorting out, throwing out, and cleaning, are wonderful ways to help you feel more positive. De-junk your work and living space and give unwanted items to charity. Treat yourself to some new paint, or buy yourself some flowers. Place post-its or motivational posters somewhere you can see them, or simply have a favourite photo close by that makes you feel good.
Sometimes we become so self-absorbed we forget about everyone else. Focusing on the needs of another person is another great way to become more positive yourself. Think about what you can do for others, or even just one other person. You could consider volunteering for a charity, visiting an elderly or infirm neighbour, or walking someone else’s dog. Failing that, try and do one small kind thing per day for a complete stranger: pick up something they’ve dropped, buy them a coffee, or compliment someone on their hair or perfume.
You’re a human being, and like all human beings you have flaws. However, much more than that, you are incredible and you are an individual. There is no-one quite like you. Celebrate this fact and cherish who you are. Life is a party that you can’t attend twice, so live your life to the best of your ability, and enjoy!
For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?
Read the complete article
When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives.
Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.
Have you ever noticed that some people are instantly likeable? Many people believe that people will only like you because of natural traits you're born with: good looks, talent and sociability. But this is a misconception. Getting people to like you is within your control, and it's all to do with self-belief, knowing yourself and being emotionally intelligent. Here's what to do to be more likeable.
Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice.
Read the complete article
Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.
Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?
Read the complete article
If you're worried that the world is changing too fast, you're not alone: technology is constantly developing, and it can be challenging to keep up with all the changes. As a result, many people - not just the older generations - feel anxious that they might get left behind.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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