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What is holding you back?

What is holding you back

For many of us, the pandemic has forced us to put our dreams on hold. We've had to accept that achieving our goals may be delayed for the time being. But do you feel that you're never going to reach your goals? Or that your dreams are never going to come true? Maybe there's something that holds you back and makes you give up before you get anywhere near to achieving your goals.

Many of us get stuck in a rut of thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that stop us from being successful. But it doesn't have to be this way! If you can identify the factors that are holding you back, you can start to change and get closer to achieving your aims in life. Here are some of the things that might be holding you back from succeeding.


1. You worry about what others think

It's common to allow the fear of what other people think to influence what you do. But this is something that you're allowing to happen to prevent you from achieving your goals. You worry that people will judge and criticise you if you go for something, so you give up your dream. Bach Flower Mix 44 can help to boost your self-belief and give your more confidence.

Remember that people judging you aren't important. People who care about you and whose opinion matters to you will support you in your aims. It's your life, and you shouldn't let fear of being judged stand in the way of achieving your plans. So follow your dreams! You'll soon realise that other people are mostly worrying about themselves and their own lives rather than judging you.

2. You worry about things that might not happen

Asking yourself, "What if?" all the time is guaranteed to hold you back! Instead of questioning yourself negatively, try to look at problems from a different perspective and ask yourself whether there's something different you could be doing.

When you constantly doubt yourself and worry about things that might never happen, you're more likely to give up on your dreams and stop trying. So ask yourself different questions, ones that will help you achieve your goals, and you'll get further along your path to success.

3. You don't reflect on mistakes

We all make mistakes but don't let mishaps hold you back. The secret is to reflect on what went wrong and learn from it so that you don't repeat the same mistake over and over again. Reflecting and assessing errors you've made will help you to come back stronger. When you know what doesn't work, keep on trying and find out what does.

4. It's never the right moment

There's never the "perfect" moment, so procrastinating and always waiting for precisely the right time will prevent you from achieving your dreams. Change the way you look at things: you've only got one life, so if you don't do it now, when will you? It's now or never!

One way to avoid procrastinating is to avoid distractions and manage your time better. Set a schedule and stick to it. Taking action and making a start will motivate you and take you nearer to making your dreams come true.

5. You don't have a clear idea of your goals

You will never achieve your dreams if you don't have a clear picture of what you want to achieve. When you know what you want out of life, you'll be able to plan your route to success. Try sharing your dreams with family and friends: their input and advice can help you firm up your plans. If you don't have a clear vision about what you want from life, be as open as possible to new ideas and experiences. You might discover opportunities you didn't know existed.

6. You always stick to what you know

If you're not achieving your goal, it could be because you're stuck in a rut. When your mind is set, and you don't consider different perspectives, you'll find it challenging to get any further in life. Try listening to others and look at things from a different angle: you'll find that being open to new ways of thinking will help you move on and achieve your aims.

7. You feel inadequate compared to others

Comparing yourself to others who are further down the road can be unrealistic and might undermine your self-confidence. You don't know the struggles others may have gone through and the obstacles they’ve had to overcome. And you can be sure that they will have made mistakes along the way. So focus on your own choices and don't be envious or discouraged.

8. You want instant results

If something's worth having, it's worth waiting for. If you're too impatient and give up on your goals as soon as you encounter an obstacle, you're unlikely to fulfil your dreams. Achieving your goals is a big project, and you need to persevere. So if attaining your aims is taking longer than you hoped, remember that it'll be worth it eventually.


Sources:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/

https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/help-for-young-people/tools-resources/building-confidence

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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What is holding you back?

What is holding you back?
What is holding you back

For many of us, the pandemic has forced us to put our dreams on hold. We've had to accept that achieving our goals may be delayed for the time being. But do you feel that you're never going to reach your goals? Or that your dreams are never going to come true? Maybe there's something that holds you back and makes you give up before you get anywhere near to achieving your goals.

Many of us get stuck in a rut of thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that stop us from being successful. But it doesn't have to be this way! If you can identify the factors that are holding you back, you can start to change and get closer to achieving your aims in life. Here are some of the things that might be holding you back from succeeding.

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  • Based on your symptoms and character
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1. You worry about what others think

It's common to allow the fear of what other people think to influence what you do. But this is something that you're allowing to happen to prevent you from achieving your goals. You worry that people will judge and criticise you if you go for something, so you give up your dream. Bach Flower Mix 44 can help to boost your self-belief and give your more confidence.

Remember that people judging you aren't important. People who care about you and whose opinion matters to you will support you in your aims. It's your life, and you shouldn't let fear of being judged stand in the way of achieving your plans. So follow your dreams! You'll soon realise that other people are mostly worrying about themselves and their own lives rather than judging you.

2. You worry about things that might not happen

Asking yourself, "What if?" all the time is guaranteed to hold you back! Instead of questioning yourself negatively, try to look at problems from a different perspective and ask yourself whether there's something different you could be doing.

When you constantly doubt yourself and worry about things that might never happen, you're more likely to give up on your dreams and stop trying. So ask yourself different questions, ones that will help you achieve your goals, and you'll get further along your path to success.

3. You don't reflect on mistakes

We all make mistakes but don't let mishaps hold you back. The secret is to reflect on what went wrong and learn from it so that you don't repeat the same mistake over and over again. Reflecting and assessing errors you've made will help you to come back stronger. When you know what doesn't work, keep on trying and find out what does.

4. It's never the right moment

There's never the "perfect" moment, so procrastinating and always waiting for precisely the right time will prevent you from achieving your dreams. Change the way you look at things: you've only got one life, so if you don't do it now, when will you? It's now or never!

One way to avoid procrastinating is to avoid distractions and manage your time better. Set a schedule and stick to it. Taking action and making a start will motivate you and take you nearer to making your dreams come true.

5. You don't have a clear idea of your goals

You will never achieve your dreams if you don't have a clear picture of what you want to achieve. When you know what you want out of life, you'll be able to plan your route to success. Try sharing your dreams with family and friends: their input and advice can help you firm up your plans. If you don't have a clear vision about what you want from life, be as open as possible to new ideas and experiences. You might discover opportunities you didn't know existed.

6. You always stick to what you know

If you're not achieving your goal, it could be because you're stuck in a rut. When your mind is set, and you don't consider different perspectives, you'll find it challenging to get any further in life. Try listening to others and look at things from a different angle: you'll find that being open to new ways of thinking will help you move on and achieve your aims.

7. You feel inadequate compared to others

Comparing yourself to others who are further down the road can be unrealistic and might undermine your self-confidence. You don't know the struggles others may have gone through and the obstacles they’ve had to overcome. And you can be sure that they will have made mistakes along the way. So focus on your own choices and don't be envious or discouraged.

8. You want instant results

If something's worth having, it's worth waiting for. If you're too impatient and give up on your goals as soon as you encounter an obstacle, you're unlikely to fulfil your dreams. Achieving your goals is a big project, and you need to persevere. So if attaining your aims is taking longer than you hoped, remember that it'll be worth it eventually.


Sources:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/

https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/help-for-young-people/tools-resources/building-confidence


Marie Pure

Other articles


Almost at the end of your tether What to do

Almost at the end of your tether? What to do

Dawn’s breaking and you’ve barely slept all night. Instead of waking up ready to face the day, you feel as if you’ll never catch up with all the urgent stuff that needs doing. Stressful thoughts circle in your head, and you feel exhausted and burned out. Sounds familiar? You’re not alone!

Read the complete article

How to break your bad habits

How to break your bad habits

Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?

Read the complete article

6 ways to add some sunshine to your life

6 ways to add some sunshine to your life

Don’t let your mood depend on the weather, and instead create some sunshine in your life with the following tips.

Read the complete article

How to beat irrational anxieties

How to beat irrational anxieties

Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.

Read the complete article

Live Forever the Habits of People Who Live a Long, Healthy Life

Live Forever: the Habits of People Who Live a Long, Healthy Life

Legends of immortality have been told and retold throughout history. From ancient Greek myths to modern movies and novels, the dream of eternal youth has been passed down from generation to generation.

Read the complete article

Do you expect too much from others

Do you expect too much from others?

Do you expect more from others than they are prepared to give? Signs that you may be asking too much - and how to break the pattern.

Read the complete article

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?

Read the complete article

How to spice up your life

How to spice up your life

Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.

Read the complete article

Qué hacer cuando uno se siente perdido en la vida

What to do when feeling lost in life?

What to do when feeling lost in life? Read some tips about what to do when feeling lost in life or when you don't know what to do with your life here!

Read the complete article

Quarter-life or midlife crisis everything you need to know

Quarter-life or midlife crisis: everything you need to know

A midlife crisis is the basis of stereotypes and jokes: the life stage when you suddenly feel tempted to do impulsive, outrageous things such as leave your spouse, buy a flashy motorbike and walk away from your job.

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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