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What is holding you back?

What is holding you back

For many of us, the pandemic has forced us to put our dreams on hold. We've had to accept that achieving our goals may be delayed for the time being. But do you feel that you're never going to reach your goals? Or that your dreams are never going to come true? Maybe there's something that holds you back and makes you give up before you get anywhere near to achieving your goals.

Many of us get stuck in a rut of thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that stop us from being successful. But it doesn't have to be this way! If you can identify the factors that are holding you back, you can start to change and get closer to achieving your aims in life. Here are some of the things that might be holding you back from succeeding.


1. You worry about what others think

It's common to allow the fear of what other people think to influence what you do. But this is something that you're allowing to happen to prevent you from achieving your goals. You worry that people will judge and criticise you if you go for something, so you give up your dream. Bach Flower Mix 44 can help to boost your self-belief and give your more confidence.

Remember that people judging you aren't important. People who care about you and whose opinion matters to you will support you in your aims. It's your life, and you shouldn't let fear of being judged stand in the way of achieving your plans. So follow your dreams! You'll soon realise that other people are mostly worrying about themselves and their own lives rather than judging you.

2. You worry about things that might not happen

Asking yourself, "What if?" all the time is guaranteed to hold you back! Instead of questioning yourself negatively, try to look at problems from a different perspective and ask yourself whether there's something different you could be doing.

When you constantly doubt yourself and worry about things that might never happen, you're more likely to give up on your dreams and stop trying. So ask yourself different questions, ones that will help you achieve your goals, and you'll get further along your path to success.

3. You don't reflect on mistakes

We all make mistakes but don't let mishaps hold you back. The secret is to reflect on what went wrong and learn from it so that you don't repeat the same mistake over and over again. Reflecting and assessing errors you've made will help you to come back stronger. When you know what doesn't work, keep on trying and find out what does.

4. It's never the right moment

There's never the "perfect" moment, so procrastinating and always waiting for precisely the right time will prevent you from achieving your dreams. Change the way you look at things: you've only got one life, so if you don't do it now, when will you? It's now or never!

One way to avoid procrastinating is to avoid distractions and manage your time better. Set a schedule and stick to it. Taking action and making a start will motivate you and take you nearer to making your dreams come true.

5. You don't have a clear idea of your goals

You will never achieve your dreams if you don't have a clear picture of what you want to achieve. When you know what you want out of life, you'll be able to plan your route to success. Try sharing your dreams with family and friends: their input and advice can help you firm up your plans. If you don't have a clear vision about what you want from life, be as open as possible to new ideas and experiences. You might discover opportunities you didn't know existed.

6. You always stick to what you know

If you're not achieving your goal, it could be because you're stuck in a rut. When your mind is set, and you don't consider different perspectives, you'll find it challenging to get any further in life. Try listening to others and look at things from a different angle: you'll find that being open to new ways of thinking will help you move on and achieve your aims.

7. You feel inadequate compared to others

Comparing yourself to others who are further down the road can be unrealistic and might undermine your self-confidence. You don't know the struggles others may have gone through and the obstacles they’ve had to overcome. And you can be sure that they will have made mistakes along the way. So focus on your own choices and don't be envious or discouraged.

8. You want instant results

If something's worth having, it's worth waiting for. If you're too impatient and give up on your goals as soon as you encounter an obstacle, you're unlikely to fulfil your dreams. Achieving your goals is a big project, and you need to persevere. So if attaining your aims is taking longer than you hoped, remember that it'll be worth it eventually.


Sources:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/

https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/help-for-young-people/tools-resources/building-confidence

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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What is holding you back?

What is holding you back?
What is holding you back

For many of us, the pandemic has forced us to put our dreams on hold. We've had to accept that achieving our goals may be delayed for the time being. But do you feel that you're never going to reach your goals? Or that your dreams are never going to come true? Maybe there's something that holds you back and makes you give up before you get anywhere near to achieving your goals.

Many of us get stuck in a rut of thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that stop us from being successful. But it doesn't have to be this way! If you can identify the factors that are holding you back, you can start to change and get closer to achieving your aims in life. Here are some of the things that might be holding you back from succeeding.

Bach flowers personal mix

Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
  • Fast and good results
Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

1. You worry about what others think

It's common to allow the fear of what other people think to influence what you do. But this is something that you're allowing to happen to prevent you from achieving your goals. You worry that people will judge and criticise you if you go for something, so you give up your dream. Bach Flower Mix 44 can help to boost your self-belief and give your more confidence.

Remember that people judging you aren't important. People who care about you and whose opinion matters to you will support you in your aims. It's your life, and you shouldn't let fear of being judged stand in the way of achieving your plans. So follow your dreams! You'll soon realise that other people are mostly worrying about themselves and their own lives rather than judging you.

2. You worry about things that might not happen

Asking yourself, "What if?" all the time is guaranteed to hold you back! Instead of questioning yourself negatively, try to look at problems from a different perspective and ask yourself whether there's something different you could be doing.

When you constantly doubt yourself and worry about things that might never happen, you're more likely to give up on your dreams and stop trying. So ask yourself different questions, ones that will help you achieve your goals, and you'll get further along your path to success.

3. You don't reflect on mistakes

We all make mistakes but don't let mishaps hold you back. The secret is to reflect on what went wrong and learn from it so that you don't repeat the same mistake over and over again. Reflecting and assessing errors you've made will help you to come back stronger. When you know what doesn't work, keep on trying and find out what does.

4. It's never the right moment

There's never the "perfect" moment, so procrastinating and always waiting for precisely the right time will prevent you from achieving your dreams. Change the way you look at things: you've only got one life, so if you don't do it now, when will you? It's now or never!

One way to avoid procrastinating is to avoid distractions and manage your time better. Set a schedule and stick to it. Taking action and making a start will motivate you and take you nearer to making your dreams come true.

5. You don't have a clear idea of your goals

You will never achieve your dreams if you don't have a clear picture of what you want to achieve. When you know what you want out of life, you'll be able to plan your route to success. Try sharing your dreams with family and friends: their input and advice can help you firm up your plans. If you don't have a clear vision about what you want from life, be as open as possible to new ideas and experiences. You might discover opportunities you didn't know existed.

6. You always stick to what you know

If you're not achieving your goal, it could be because you're stuck in a rut. When your mind is set, and you don't consider different perspectives, you'll find it challenging to get any further in life. Try listening to others and look at things from a different angle: you'll find that being open to new ways of thinking will help you move on and achieve your aims.

7. You feel inadequate compared to others

Comparing yourself to others who are further down the road can be unrealistic and might undermine your self-confidence. You don't know the struggles others may have gone through and the obstacles they’ve had to overcome. And you can be sure that they will have made mistakes along the way. So focus on your own choices and don't be envious or discouraged.

8. You want instant results

If something's worth having, it's worth waiting for. If you're too impatient and give up on your goals as soon as you encounter an obstacle, you're unlikely to fulfil your dreams. Achieving your goals is a big project, and you need to persevere. So if attaining your aims is taking longer than you hoped, remember that it'll be worth it eventually.


Sources:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/

https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/help-for-young-people/tools-resources/building-confidence


Marie Pure

Other articles


Almost at the end of your tether What to do

Almost at the end of your tether? What to do

Dawn’s breaking and you’ve barely slept all night. Instead of waking up ready to face the day, you feel as if you’ll never catch up with all the urgent stuff that needs doing. Stressful thoughts circle in your head, and you feel exhausted and burned out. Sounds familiar? You’re not alone!

Read the complete article

How to spot toxic behaviour

How to spot toxic behaviour

You see the word "toxic" everywhere these days, but what does it really mean? You've almost certainly come across someone who fits the description. Dealing with difficult personalities can be challenging and emotionally exhausting, to say the least.

Read the complete article

Are things moving too fast for you

Are things moving too fast for you?

If you're worried that the world is changing too fast, you're not alone: technology is constantly developing, and it can be challenging to keep up with all the changes. As a result, many people - not just the older generations - feel anxious that they might get left behind.

Read the complete article

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.

Read the complete article

How to be less judgemental of others (and yourself!)

How to be less judgemental of others (and yourself!)

Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.

Read the complete article

What to do when the spark is fading

What to do when the spark is fading

Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?

Read the complete article

Quarter-life or midlife crisis everything you need to know

Quarter-life or midlife crisis: everything you need to know

A midlife crisis is the basis of stereotypes and jokes: the life stage when you suddenly feel tempted to do impulsive, outrageous things such as leave your spouse, buy a flashy motorbike and walk away from your job.

Read the complete article

Are you stuck in a rut

Are you stuck in a rut?

Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.

Read the complete article

Letting go A guide for survivors

Letting go: A guide for survivors

Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.

Read the complete article

How can I help my child achieve their dreams

How can I help my child achieve their dreams?

Children's imaginations know no limits and their dreams are a mix of hopes and fantasies, the real and the magical, the impossible and the achievable.

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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