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Revealed: The most important things in life

Revealed The most important things in life

Do you believe that there are certain things you must achieve to be happy? Society teaches us that wealth, health, romantic love, and family are essential for happiness. But are these externals really the most important things in life?

Psychologists say that a salary raise, losing weight, a fancy new car, or an exciting romance might well make us feel happier at first, but the pleasure often doesn't last. Humans have evolved to adapt quickly to changes in the environment, which helps to survive risks and dangers. But this means that we soon come to accept changes that make us feel happier as our "new normal", and our happiness levels revert to their former baseline.

But there are ways that you can boost your happiness and increase your contentment with life, and you don't need to win the lottery! The secret is to change your inner attitude and perspective, and the good news is that anyone can do it.

There are many misconceptions about what's important in life. So before taking a look at techniques for increasing happiness, let's consider the things that aren't as important as we might believe.


Wealth

It's true that not having enough money can be very stressful. To be happy, you need enough to pay for your basic requirements such as food, clothing and a home. But once you've covered these base, becoming richer won't make much difference to your happiness. Researchers studying lottery winners found that while their happiness levels increased at first, they soon reverted to their usual level of contentment.

Relationships

Being in a loving and supportive relationship can play a part in happiness, but it's not exclusively true. Single people also live happy and fulfilling lives. In fact, single people with lively social circles and plenty of interests are probably more content with their lives than people in unhappy relationships. It's also true that even good marriages or partnerships won't create a permanent increase in happiness. Your partner can't guarantee a fairytale "happy-ever-after": it's essential to realise that only you are responsible for your feelings.

Being young and carefree

It's not true that your school days are the happiest time of your life and that people become less happy as they move through life. There's a wealth of research demonstrating that older people are happier and more satisfied with life than young and middle-aged adults. Even with the poorer health that often comes with age, the golden years are the happiest for many.

Genetics

Are some people born to be a bit miserable? Research suggests that we are born with a specific set point for happiness, But this natural level of optimism accounts for only around half of our contentment. A further ten per cent is the result of circumstances. So you're left with around 40% of happiness that you can determine by your choices and lifestyle.

Accepting the things you can't control is what's really important

We all face challenges in life. But it's how you deal with them that matters. Rather than letting negative thoughts hold you back, try to accept that things happen for a reason. Look on difficulties as an opportunity to learn and make a fresh start. You can still achieve anything you want to, but first, you have to accept the past. Once you have accepted the situation, you'll soon feel happier about your life.

You'll start to believe in yourself again. You're the only thing standing in your way. Once you have the self-belief to accept and look past challenges, you'll have the resilience you need to face difficulties throughout your life. You'll be able to think more rationally and will be able to move on from challenging events.

Your new sense of self-confidence will give you the strength to give up bad habits that you've been relying on to prop up your emotions. You'll probably find that it's now much easier to give up those cigarettes or drinks. You and your loved ones are the only really important things.

A final thought

It's often the easy option to put on a pretend smile to get us through the day rather than facing up to our problems. If you're ready to make changes, Bach Flower Mix 44 can help you believe in yourself more and give you the confidence to move on in your life.

If you regret anything at all, it's just that you didn't make the change sooner. But you'll accept that it wasn't the right time to do so until now. When you accept what life brings, you'll find that you feel less stressed and happier.

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives. 

Subtle signs your child is unhappy

According to figures from the World Health Organisation, more than 260 million people worldwide suffer from depression. And it's not only adults who are diagnosed with this illness. Children as young as three or four years old can experience depression.

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Being happy is something everybody strives for, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who go through life unhappily. A lot of people take life how it is.

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Can you accept things you can't change? Take our quiz!

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Revealed: The most important things in life

Revealed: The most important things in life
Revealed The most important things in life

Do you believe that there are certain things you must achieve to be happy? Society teaches us that wealth, health, romantic love, and family are essential for happiness. But are these externals really the most important things in life?

Psychologists say that a salary raise, losing weight, a fancy new car, or an exciting romance might well make us feel happier at first, but the pleasure often doesn't last. Humans have evolved to adapt quickly to changes in the environment, which helps to survive risks and dangers. But this means that we soon come to accept changes that make us feel happier as our "new normal", and our happiness levels revert to their former baseline.

But there are ways that you can boost your happiness and increase your contentment with life, and you don't need to win the lottery! The secret is to change your inner attitude and perspective, and the good news is that anyone can do it.

There are many misconceptions about what's important in life. So before taking a look at techniques for increasing happiness, let's consider the things that aren't as important as we might believe.

Bach flowers personal mix

Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
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Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

Wealth

It's true that not having enough money can be very stressful. To be happy, you need enough to pay for your basic requirements such as food, clothing and a home. But once you've covered these base, becoming richer won't make much difference to your happiness. Researchers studying lottery winners found that while their happiness levels increased at first, they soon reverted to their usual level of contentment.

Relationships

Being in a loving and supportive relationship can play a part in happiness, but it's not exclusively true. Single people also live happy and fulfilling lives. In fact, single people with lively social circles and plenty of interests are probably more content with their lives than people in unhappy relationships. It's also true that even good marriages or partnerships won't create a permanent increase in happiness. Your partner can't guarantee a fairytale "happy-ever-after": it's essential to realise that only you are responsible for your feelings.

Being young and carefree

It's not true that your school days are the happiest time of your life and that people become less happy as they move through life. There's a wealth of research demonstrating that older people are happier and more satisfied with life than young and middle-aged adults. Even with the poorer health that often comes with age, the golden years are the happiest for many.

Genetics

Are some people born to be a bit miserable? Research suggests that we are born with a specific set point for happiness, But this natural level of optimism accounts for only around half of our contentment. A further ten per cent is the result of circumstances. So you're left with around 40% of happiness that you can determine by your choices and lifestyle.

Accepting the things you can't control is what's really important

We all face challenges in life. But it's how you deal with them that matters. Rather than letting negative thoughts hold you back, try to accept that things happen for a reason. Look on difficulties as an opportunity to learn and make a fresh start. You can still achieve anything you want to, but first, you have to accept the past. Once you have accepted the situation, you'll soon feel happier about your life.

You'll start to believe in yourself again. You're the only thing standing in your way. Once you have the self-belief to accept and look past challenges, you'll have the resilience you need to face difficulties throughout your life. You'll be able to think more rationally and will be able to move on from challenging events.

Your new sense of self-confidence will give you the strength to give up bad habits that you've been relying on to prop up your emotions. You'll probably find that it's now much easier to give up those cigarettes or drinks. You and your loved ones are the only really important things.

A final thought

It's often the easy option to put on a pretend smile to get us through the day rather than facing up to our problems. If you're ready to make changes, Bach Flower Mix 44 can help you believe in yourself more and give you the confidence to move on in your life.

If you regret anything at all, it's just that you didn't make the change sooner. But you'll accept that it wasn't the right time to do so until now. When you accept what life brings, you'll find that you feel less stressed and happier.


Marie Pure

Other articles


What to do when the spark is fading

What to do when the spark is fading

Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?

Read the complete article

Coping with life transitions

Struggling to cope with life transitions?

Are you struggling to cope with transitions in life? Read our article on signs and tips for coping with life transitions. 

Read the complete article

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives. 

Read the complete article

Subtle signs your child is unhappy

Subtle signs your child is unhappy

According to figures from the World Health Organisation, more than 260 million people worldwide suffer from depression. And it's not only adults who are diagnosed with this illness. Children as young as three or four years old can experience depression.

Read the complete article

Choose for your happiness

Choose for your happiness!

Being happy is something everybody strives for, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who go through life unhappily. A lot of people take life how it is.

Read the complete article

Almost at the end of your tether What to do

Almost at the end of your tether? What to do

Dawn’s breaking and you’ve barely slept all night. Instead of waking up ready to face the day, you feel as if you’ll never catch up with all the urgent stuff that needs doing. Stressful thoughts circle in your head, and you feel exhausted and burned out. Sounds familiar? You’re not alone!

Read the complete article

Can you accept things you can't change Take our quiz!

Can you accept things you can't change? Take our quiz!

Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!

Read the complete article

Did you get stuck in the past

Did you get stuck in the past?

Do you find yourself often thinking about your past? Do you wish you could turn back the clock to days gone by or things as they were before covid disrupted the world?

Read the complete article

Quarter-life or midlife crisis everything you need to know

Quarter-life or midlife crisis: everything you need to know

A midlife crisis is the basis of stereotypes and jokes: the life stage when you suddenly feel tempted to do impulsive, outrageous things such as leave your spouse, buy a flashy motorbike and walk away from your job.

Read the complete article

Stop worrying and live in the moment

Stop worrying and live in the moment

People spend so much of their time regretting the past and worrying about the future. But it’s not worth it! Even what happened yesterday doesn't matter anymore! Let go of the past and the future and make the most of every moment.

Read the complete article

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