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Learn to live with your anxieties

Learn to live with your anxieties

Living with anxiety is difficult. You may feel alone, because you struggle to explain to others what it is you’re going through, or you may find that others become impatient with you because they don’t understand the condition. Anxiety can be a chronic condition that lasts for years, or it can be acute and come and go. If you suffer with anxiety, it’s important that you learn to live with it, and adopt techniques that help you manage how you feel, when anxiety interrupts your day to day life. The alternative is that you passively accept your anxiety and do nothing about it, but this will increasingly make you feel unwell. Far better to tackle the problem head on.

1. Take responsibility

Face up to the fact that you have anxiety and that you need to tackle it. You may not ever completely eliminate your symptoms of anxiety, but knowing you suffer with it, and letting others know that you suffer with it, are two very important steps. Remember, the more control you assert over your life, the less likely you will be to have symptoms.

2. And breathe …

Anxiety is often worsened by an inability to breathe properly. If you are having an anxiety attack – similar to a panic attack – take steps to calm your breathing down. The aim is to slow your breathing down and breathe deeply. If it helps, breathe deeply, deep into your diaphragm, watch your chest lift up and your stomach swell and hold that breath for 5 seconds, before slowly letting it go and watching your chest collapse. Put your shoulders back and repeat until you feel calmer.

3. Get busy!

Anxiety tends to attack when you overthink issues. Allowing yourself thinking time, or down time, is one sure fire way to let anxiety attack you. One way to tackle this is to keep busy from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed. Exhausting? Definitely. But with any luck you’ll sleep well too. It doesn’t have to be physical busyness. You could be reading or doing some craftwork, or maybe even meditating. Stay focused and engaged, so that your thoughts can’t turn inwards.

4. Get some exercise

Hand in hand with being busy, is taking exercise. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but taking exercise several times a week is a great mood enhancer and can really help you to feel better about yourself. It doesn’t have to be hard core aerobic exercise either. You can indulge in some yoga, go for a walk or swim lengths at the swimming pool. Exercise raises your serotonin, burns away stress hormones and releases endorphins which improve your overall mood.

5. Identify your physical symptoms

Another method for tackling your symptoms of anxiety is to focus on where you get them. For example, if your neck gets tense, bring your attention to your neck. If it’s a fluttery sensation in your abdomen, concentrate on that sensation. If you find it hard to breathe, concentrate entirely on your breathing. Worry that feeling, like a dog with a bone, and if your attention wanders away, bring it back. Keep doing this until you feel calmer.

6. Put others first

Sometimes our anxiety is a sign that we are too self-involved. Another way to help eliminate some of your symptoms of anxiety is not to over-indulge ourselves but to think of others. Do you know anyone else in need? A family member, a neighbour or a friend? If not, can you find a way of volunteering some of your free time to a good cause? By doing so you will take your mind off your own problems, and find joy in helping others.

7. Avoid anything that triggers your anxiety

While we wouldn’t normally advocate avoidance behaviour, when you suffer with anxiety there are certain triggers that can set off an attack. If you know what these are, and you are not receiving therapy or treatment to help you deal with the triggers, there is no reason why you shouldn’t avoid them. If watching the news makes you anxious, turn the TV off or over. If seeing your ex on social media sets you off, delete your profile or block him or her. This is particularly important in the few hours before bedtime. Upsetting yourself in the evening will invariably mean hours spent tossing and turning before dawn.

8. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

If you are able, try to push your boundaries a little every day. You may find that you can counter some of your symptoms of anxiety by facing the thing you fear the most. This could mean talking to someone new every day, for example, or driving a mile down the road to somewhere new. It doesn’t matter what it is, and no-one else has to know. Set tiny goals for yourself and see how you get on.

9. Imagine the very worst that can happen to you

When you know the things that tend to cause your symptoms of anxiety, consider what is the very worst thing that can happen. What is the foulest possible end result? Even at its most awful, you will still survive and you won’t have destroyed the world so there’s no point unduly worrying. If you start to panic, calm your breathing down. Eventually your panic will die away. You’re absolutely fine.

10. Focus on the things you love

When the world is getting on top of you, make lists of all the things you adore. This could be rice pudding, Beatles albums, your dog, the rain on a tin roof, the sound of the sea on a pebble beach – it can be anything that makes you happy. Some people make lists and dedicate a notebook to their lists – often called a gratitude journal. Go shopping and buy yourself a beautiful notebook to keep your happy thoughts in.

11. Adopt a positive mental attitude

This can sometimes be easier said than done, when you’re in the pit of despair but trying to see advantages instead of disadvantages, the good instead of the bad, and the possibilities instead of the blocks, will really help you to stay focused on enjoying life.
You cannot cure your anxiety overnight, and sometimes it cannot ever be cured, but you can work within your means to constantly improve matters for yourself. Keep talking to others about how you feel, treat yourself to things that you love, and have faith that life will improve.

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Learn to live with your anxieties

Learn to live with your anxieties
Learn to live with your anxieties

Living with anxiety is difficult. You may feel alone, because you struggle to explain to others what it is you’re going through, or you may find that others become impatient with you because they don’t understand the condition. Anxiety can be a chronic condition that lasts for years, or it can be acute and come and go. If you suffer with anxiety, it’s important that you learn to live with it, and adopt techniques that help you manage how you feel, when anxiety interrupts your day to day life. The alternative is that you passively accept your anxiety and do nothing about it, but this will increasingly make you feel unwell. Far better to tackle the problem head on.

1. Take responsibility

Face up to the fact that you have anxiety and that you need to tackle it. You may not ever completely eliminate your symptoms of anxiety, but knowing you suffer with it, and letting others know that you suffer with it, are two very important steps. Remember, the more control you assert over your life, the less likely you will be to have symptoms.

2. And breathe …

Anxiety is often worsened by an inability to breathe properly. If you are having an anxiety attack – similar to a panic attack – take steps to calm your breathing down. The aim is to slow your breathing down and breathe deeply. If it helps, breathe deeply, deep into your diaphragm, watch your chest lift up and your stomach swell and hold that breath for 5 seconds, before slowly letting it go and watching your chest collapse. Put your shoulders back and repeat until you feel calmer.

3. Get busy!

Anxiety tends to attack when you overthink issues. Allowing yourself thinking time, or down time, is one sure fire way to let anxiety attack you. One way to tackle this is to keep busy from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed. Exhausting? Definitely. But with any luck you’ll sleep well too. It doesn’t have to be physical busyness. You could be reading or doing some craftwork, or maybe even meditating. Stay focused and engaged, so that your thoughts can’t turn inwards.

4. Get some exercise

Hand in hand with being busy, is taking exercise. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but taking exercise several times a week is a great mood enhancer and can really help you to feel better about yourself. It doesn’t have to be hard core aerobic exercise either. You can indulge in some yoga, go for a walk or swim lengths at the swimming pool. Exercise raises your serotonin, burns away stress hormones and releases endorphins which improve your overall mood.

5. Identify your physical symptoms

Another method for tackling your symptoms of anxiety is to focus on where you get them. For example, if your neck gets tense, bring your attention to your neck. If it’s a fluttery sensation in your abdomen, concentrate on that sensation. If you find it hard to breathe, concentrate entirely on your breathing. Worry that feeling, like a dog with a bone, and if your attention wanders away, bring it back. Keep doing this until you feel calmer.

6. Put others first

Sometimes our anxiety is a sign that we are too self-involved. Another way to help eliminate some of your symptoms of anxiety is not to over-indulge ourselves but to think of others. Do you know anyone else in need? A family member, a neighbour or a friend? If not, can you find a way of volunteering some of your free time to a good cause? By doing so you will take your mind off your own problems, and find joy in helping others.

7. Avoid anything that triggers your anxiety

While we wouldn’t normally advocate avoidance behaviour, when you suffer with anxiety there are certain triggers that can set off an attack. If you know what these are, and you are not receiving therapy or treatment to help you deal with the triggers, there is no reason why you shouldn’t avoid them. If watching the news makes you anxious, turn the TV off or over. If seeing your ex on social media sets you off, delete your profile or block him or her. This is particularly important in the few hours before bedtime. Upsetting yourself in the evening will invariably mean hours spent tossing and turning before dawn.

8. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

If you are able, try to push your boundaries a little every day. You may find that you can counter some of your symptoms of anxiety by facing the thing you fear the most. This could mean talking to someone new every day, for example, or driving a mile down the road to somewhere new. It doesn’t matter what it is, and no-one else has to know. Set tiny goals for yourself and see how you get on.

9. Imagine the very worst that can happen to you

When you know the things that tend to cause your symptoms of anxiety, consider what is the very worst thing that can happen. What is the foulest possible end result? Even at its most awful, you will still survive and you won’t have destroyed the world so there’s no point unduly worrying. If you start to panic, calm your breathing down. Eventually your panic will die away. You’re absolutely fine.

10. Focus on the things you love

When the world is getting on top of you, make lists of all the things you adore. This could be rice pudding, Beatles albums, your dog, the rain on a tin roof, the sound of the sea on a pebble beach – it can be anything that makes you happy. Some people make lists and dedicate a notebook to their lists – often called a gratitude journal. Go shopping and buy yourself a beautiful notebook to keep your happy thoughts in.

11. Adopt a positive mental attitude

This can sometimes be easier said than done, when you’re in the pit of despair but trying to see advantages instead of disadvantages, the good instead of the bad, and the possibilities instead of the blocks, will really help you to stay focused on enjoying life.
You cannot cure your anxiety overnight, and sometimes it cannot ever be cured, but you can work within your means to constantly improve matters for yourself. Keep talking to others about how you feel, treat yourself to things that you love, and have faith that life will improve.




Bach flowers mix 85: Anxiety

Bach flowers mix 85 helps to:

  • Overcome every-day fears 
  • Avoid panic attacks 
  • Give trust and take undefined fears away 
  • No longer be worried and anxious about your child, partner, friends, etc 
  • Take on challenges and make decisions again 
Discover how Bach flowers mix 85 can help you
Marie Pure

Other articles


11 tips to beat your anxieties

11 tips to beat your anxieties

Living with anxiety can be a challenge. Take back your life today. Read our 11 tips to beat your anxieties here.

Read the complete article

How to know when to say no

How to know when to say no

It's often difficult to say no, but some people never do! So how do you know when to say no and when to say yes?

Read the complete article

Fact or fiction Is it truly healthy

Fact or fiction? Is it truly healthy?

There's so much contradictory health advice out there, it gets confusing. One year, butter is said to be bad for you, and margarine is better. The following year, it's the other way around. One article says running causes strain on your joints; another says it's good for you because it increases bone strength.

Read the complete article

Tips to balance your negative aspects

Tips to balance your negative aspects

Everyone is unique, even in their own bad habits or negative traits. Here are some tips to balance those negative traits in our new article!

Read the complete article

What to do when the spark is fading

What to do when the spark is fading

Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?

Read the complete article

Do you expect too much from others Find out!

Do you expect too much from others? Find out!

Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?

Read the complete article

Dealing with British Summer Time

Dealing with British Summer Time

Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice. 

Read the complete article

Mistakes as a Parent

Mistakes as a Parent

Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.

Read the complete article

What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school

What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school?

What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school? Here are our hints and tips to help if your child is expressing a refusal to go to school.

Read the complete article

Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down

Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down?

Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety affect around 1 in 6 people at some stage of their life. Despite it being such a common problem, many sufferers wait months or even years before seeking help.

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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